Monday, February 28, 2011

Inappropriate interview questions

By FRANK GIBSON
Special to the Saipan Tribune

Question: I was being interviewed over the telephone for a position and, as the discussion progressed, the interviewer asked me how old I was. I'm over 40. Isn't this an EEO violation?

Before I start on this article's topic, I would like to note that since the last two articles on payroll deductions, I am aware of several companies that have changed their policies in order to comply with the law and to provide fairness to their employees-and the employee mentioned in the last article was reimbursed for the deductions for the equipment that failed during his shift. I would like to applaud these companies for doing what is right. Hopefully, others that I am not aware of have also corrected their policies. However, I still check with cashiers and others and find that they are still being deducted. I hope their companies will also make changes to their policies and stop these unlawful deductions.

Okay, to the topic of the question-asking an applicant's age is not in itself a violation of any EEO law, BUT it may lead to discrimination and it leaves the employer vulnerable because of having brought it up in the interview process. If this question were asked by an employer and the applicant was not selected for the position and an applicant who was younger and had less experience was selected, there might be grounds for a charge of discrimination. I say “might” as a couple of requirements have to be met: the applicant must be over 40 years of age, and the employer must employ 20 or more employees who worked for the company at least 20 weeks in the current or last year, in order to be covered by the Age Discrimination in Employment Act.

You will also note that I said “grounds for a charge.” That doesn't mean that discrimination actually occurred. However, if a charge of discrimination is filed, then the employer must convince the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission that the reasons for not hiring the over-40 applicant were work-related and non-discriminatory. Such convincing occupies significant work time, often costs money in legal fees, and creates a lot of unneeded stress.

I can't imagine any company appreciating their interviewer getting them into that situation. It makes sense for managers, supervisors, or human resource office staff members who do interviewing to make sure they have an understanding of the EEO laws and what questions are permissible. From “Hello” to “Thank you, we'll be in touch,” keep the questions and conversation on the question of whether or not, and to what degree, the applicant is qualified for the job. Information regarding race, sex, national origin, age, and religion are irrelevant in such determinations and there is no reason for questions touching on these subjects to be asked. Prepare the interview questions ahead of time and screen them carefully to ensure that they do not inquire into potentially discriminatory areas. Be careful about the off-the-cuff, unplanned questions that always come to mind as the interview proceeds. It is also best to politely stop an applicant from volunteering information that could later lead to a claim of discrimination.

As I mentioned earlier, in most cases, it is not the asking of the question that is illegal, but the discrimination that takes place as a result of it. This is not the case, however, concerning disabilities. The Americans with Disabilities Act specifically prohibits asking job applicants about the existence, nature, or severity of a disability. Applicants may only be asked about their ability to perform specific job functions. The question should be, “Can you perform the essential functions of this job with or without a reasonable accommodation?” Save the discussion regarding any accommodation until after the hiring decision and the job offer has been made.

By the way, do not ask for a photograph of an applicant. If needed for identification or record purposes, a photograph should be obtained after an offer of employment is made and accepted.

Both employees and employers should be aware of what can and cannot be discussed in a job interview. For more information, you can visit the EEOC website at www.eeoc.gov.

The information contained in this column is intended as general information only. Readers should obtain professional advice before taking action with respect to their individual situations. Readers may submit questions regarding human resource issues to hrsupportcnmi@gmail.com or editor@saipantribune.com.

Frank L. Gibson, SPHR, GPHR, owner of HR Support, CNMI, a Saipan-based training and consulting firm, has been a resident of the CNMI for more than 15 years. One of the founding members of the CNMI Chapter of the Society for Human Resource Management, he has worked both as a line-manager of human resources and in the Human Resource Office.

62 Years in a Wheelchair Just Part of Judy’s Life

IOWA CITY — In March of 1978, life kind of overwhelmed Judy Hoit.

She had two young boys, 10 and 12, who required a lot of her time.

Her rocky marriage would soon end in divorce after her husband quit school in Des Moines.

She lost her job because she no longer had a ride to work.

Then a caller had the nerve to ask if she’d be interested in working at the University of Iowa.

“Someone in Iowa City,” Judy recalls, “wanted a secretary with a visible disability.”

Judy was 32. She lived in Guthrie Center. She had been in a wheelchair since polio struck at age 4.

“I didn’t want a job just because somebody was interested in somebody with a disability,” she says.

But Bill Shanhouse, the vice president of administrative services, didn’t give up. He was in charge of handicapped services at the university. He wanted Judy because he knew she could handle being in the front lines. She’d done well for three years at Easter Seals.

Finally, after a visit, Judy agreed. It was the start of a 25-year career that took her to staff development, staff benefits, the Iowa Memorial Union and the hospital school, now known as the center for disabilities and development. It certainly toughened her up for life as she worked with a sometimes crass public that needed an education.

Why, the questions Judy heard:

“What’s wrong with you?”

“Do they have all you patients working here?”

“It’s nice that the university hires people like you.”

She shakes her head.

“They were always shocked that I was married, that I had kids,” she says. “It’s never dull. Working with the public is a real eye-opener.

“Working,” she adds, “is probably the best thing I could have done.”

As Judy Herron, born in Coon Rapids, grew up in Guthrie Center, her mother preferred she stay home. Her father encouraged a career.

Three days after her fourth birthday, in 1949, a high fever and paralysis indicated Judy had polio. Her brother, Jerry, four years older, had it, too. But his immune system was strong enough to fight back, leaving him with a limp.

Judy would spend a year in a Des Moines hospital, travel to FDR’s treatment center in Warm Springs, Georgia, until she was 13, undergo numerous surgeries. Today, she wears a back brace and heavy metal braces on both legs. It takes her 10 minutes to remove them for bed each night.

“If I had anything,” Judy says, “I wish I had more arms.”

She doesn’t mean three or four arms; she means stronger arms to lift herself out of her wheelchair.

Judy gets along fine on her own, with visits from sons Darin and Daril who live in Iowa City. She’s to receive a new electric wheelchair to replaced the first powered one she reluctantly got in 2003.

“You feel like you’re giving up your independence,” Judy says. “The truth is, you have more independence with a power wheelchair.”

While Judy has never driven a car, she owns a lift-equipped van for others to drive and rode the Bionic Bus when she worked. She can ride her wheelchair around the neighborhood and to nearby Sycamore Mall in nice weather.

Always one to appreciate independence, Judy invented and patented the Pakkie, a sling used to transfer people with physical disabilities from a wheelchair to a seat, after she experienced the airline’s struggles to do so on a solo trip to South Africa. In 1992 she wrote and published her autobiography — “My World Has Access Now.” She was selected Handicapped Woman of Iowa in 1991 and Ms. Wheelchair Iowa in 1996, a program she now coordinates.

It’s not a beauty pageant, she says, but an opportunity to educate the public and advocate for women who use wheelchairs. It’s a competition to help women see their potential and to share their accomplishments. It’s a program that continues today because Judy — in a wheelchair for nearly 62 years — exemplifies the charm, wisdom, inventiveness and determination of a woman in control of her own life.

Comments: (319) 398-8323; dave.rasdal@sourcemedia.net

Ms. Wheelchair Iowa

Any woman wishing to be considered for the Ms. Wheelchair Iowa competition can contact Judy Hoit in Iowa City at (319) 351-8375. The program is open to women ages 21 to 60 who use a wheelchair for 100 percent of their mobility. The winner, chosen on the basis of accomplishments, self-perception and meeting the challenges of personal growth, will represent Iowa in the national contest in Grand Rapids, Mich., in August. For more information visit www.judyhoit.weekly.com. The deadline to apply is Friday.

Time to get past "sideshow"

Impressive progress has been made on multiple fronts in the Everett School District. Graduation rates are among the state's highest, thanks to innovative work with at-risk students. Perceptions of district insensitivity to challenges faced by minority students are being successfully addressed. Relations with the teachers union appear much improved.

Yet an ongoing conflict between the school board and one of its members, Jessica Olson — which may have escalated last week after the board's censure of her — is overshadowing this good work.

The board approved a resolution that included about a dozen allegations of improper behavior by Olson, such as causing unnecessary cost and embarrassment to the district, intimidating fellow board members by falsely accusing them of violating the state Open Public Meetings Act, and illegally disclosing confidential information discussed in closed session.

The censure has no legal consequences but, as board President Ed Petersen said, is “a clear and more direct message to her and the public that we've got a problem.”

That problem, however, appears to cut both ways. Olson provided a written, point-by-point response to the allegations that raises its own questions about actions of other board members and Superintendent Gary Cohn.

So we're at a stalemate in a situation that has gone too far already. It's time for adults who have shown the ability to overcome tough educational challenges to figure out how to mend this relationship — or just co-exist — and refocus on matters affecting the district's students.

Getting along and working as a team is clearly a priority for the four members of the board to voted to censure Olson. Working respectfully and with civility is certainly important for any legislative body, but the need for teamwork seems misplaced in this context.

A school board is an elected body. It's supposed to reflect the varied views of its constituents. The posing of hard questions and the airing of disagreements, in theory at least, yields better policy results. Teamwork comes in the faithful carrying out of those policies by district staff.

From a practical standpoint, these board members are stuck with each other. Olson was elected in 2009 on a platform of open government, against a backdrop of district secrecy, deception and mounting legal bills. Voters put her on the board to ask tough questions. If she does so with civility and in good faith, she's doing her job.

An important aside: The charges and countercharges of Open Public Meetings Act violations in this case offer a vivid example of why closed sessions — allowed for the discussion of personnel and certain real estate and legal matters — should be recorded. That way, when allegations arise that public issues have been discussed in private, a judge can determine their veracity. Otherwise, there's no way to be sure public officials are following the law, or to weigh accusations that they're not.

The governor, state auditor and attorney general have supported the idea, but it has gone nowhere in the face of puzzling opposition (what do they have to hide?) from cities, counties and school boards. The public interest clearly demands another try.

Social Security Scam Reported


The local Social Security office has informed the Manitowoc County Aging & Disability Resource Center of a phone scam targeting Social Security and SSI recipients.

According to a news release from the ADRC, the scammer promises to guarantee delivery of monthly Social Security and SSI checks should government employees not be in the office to forward the check. The scammer also talks about protecting them from lawsuits that may be filed against them.

Social Security and SSI payments are paid by a trust, according to Judy Rank, executive director of the ADRC. Congress does not have to appropriate any funds for these monthly checks to be sent or deposited. This means that nothing can hold back the payment of monthly checks, she said.

Rank cautions people never to give out theirSocial Security number or bank account number over the telephone. If uncertain about the legitimacy of the call, call your local Social Security office, she advises.

People also can report scams directly to the Office of the Inspector General by calling (800) 269-0271.

Reminder

After Tuesday, all new Social Security recipients must elect to have their monthly payment direct deposited to their bank account. If bank account information is not provided at the time of enrollment, individuals will be enrolled in the government's Direct Express Debit MasterCardprogram. Monthly benefits will be deposited directly onto this debit card, which can be used to make purchases, pay bills or get cash.

Beneficiaries currently receiving checks will need to switch to direct deposit or the debit card by March 1, 2013.

Busy Social Life May Stave Off Disability in Elderly

MONDAY, Feb. 21 (HealthDay News) -- Seniors who are more socially active are less likely to become disabled, researchers say.

The study from Rush University in Chicago looked at 954 elderly people, average age 82, who had no type of disability at the start of the study period. The participants underwent yearly physical and mental evaluations and provided information about their social activities, such as going out to eat, playing bingo, doing volunteer work, taking day or overnight trips, and participating in community groups.

Compared to people with low levels of social activity, people who had high levels of social activity were about twice as likely to remain free of disabilities that hindered activities of daily living (such as feeding, bathing, dressing, using the toilet) and about 1.5 times more likely to remain free of disabilities that affected mobility or instrumental activities of daily living (for example, using the telephone, preparing meals and managing medications), the investigators found.

"Social activity has long been recognized as an essential component of healthy aging, but now we have strong evidence that it is also related to better everyday functioning and less disability in old age," lead researcher Bryan James, postdoctoral fellow in epidemiology of aging and dementia at Rush Alzheimer's Disease Center, said in a university news release.

"The findings are exciting because social activity is potentially a risk factor that can be modified to help older adults avoid the burdens of disability," he added.

It's not clear how social activity helps prevent disability, but it may reinforce the neural networks and musculoskeletal function required to maintain physical function, James said.

The study was released online in advance of publication in the April print issue of the Journal of Gerontology: Medical Sciences.

More information

The U.S. National Institute on Aging has more about healthy aging.

-- Robert Preidt

SOURCE: Rush University, news release, Feb. 17, 2011

Copyright © 2011 HealthDay. All rights reserved.

DisAbility Project coming to your home or classroom

More than 85,000 audience members have seen the work of That Uppity Theatre Company's DisAbility Project. On Thursday, March 3, the group makes its global debut, in which potentially millions of people -- in St. Louis and beyond -- can experience the group's acting abilities.

People in the area have three ways to see the performance: through videoconferencing, on station HEC-TV or online at http://live.hectv.org. The presentation will also be available for a national audience through U-Verse. By making prior arrangements, viewers can interact live and through email with the performers in one of two time periods: 10-11 a.m. or 1-2 p.m.

Disability300projectWomenUsing music, dance, sketches and simulation exercises, the DisAbility Project ensemble will entertain and educate participants about the culture of disability. Guided discussion and a question-and-answer period about what it means to live with disability in terms of accessibility, employment, relationships and other issues will follow.

To set up interactivity with the presentation, emailpaigerussell.actor@yahoo.com or sign up though Facebook.

If you'd like to see the DisAbility Project on stage, the group also has a 10 a.m. performance on Thursday, March 10, at the St. Louis Ethical Society, 9001 Clayton Rd. The presentation is targeted toward students; teaching materials and handouts will be distributed.

Currently, the DisAbility Project is made up of 20 active members facing dozens of challenges including amputation, depression, HIV/AIDS, spina bifida and blindness.

Interactive, worldwide presentation of the DisAbility Project

Where: Online, on TV and through videoconferencing

When: 10-11 a.m. and 1-2 p.m. Thursday, March 3

How much: Free

Information: www.uppityco.com

Photo provided by the DisAbility Project.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

MEDICAID MATTERS IN IDAHO!


Medicaid Matters in Idaho!

Idahoans have built Medicaid as a vital support system in every community to ensure people with developmental

disabilities and mental illness have a chance to live in their own homes, to work if they are able and to be part of their community. Tens of thousands of Idahoans are asking for a tax increase if that is necessary to prevent deep cuts to Medicaid-funded home and community-based services. Join us!

A HUGE THANK YOU to everyone who signed our petition (either hard copy or online). We are thrilled to share that to date we have collected 13,740 signatures from individuals in every city and county throughout the state! Over 3,000 were from our online petition and 10,000 were hand signatures. More are coming in every day!

CONTINUE SPREADING THE WORD:

We encourage you to continue spreading the word and asking your friends, family and community members to add their names to our online petition. Or you can print one and fax or e-mail it to CPI.
It was a tremendous accomplishment to gather 13,740 signatures in only 2 weeks! Let's see if we can gather at least that number before JFAC begins setting the budgets on February 21st.

Community Partnerships of Idaho

The services and supports we provide include:


Developmental Therapy: Developmental therapy involves lots of
hands-on experience. We help children, teens and adults become more independent and involved in their community. We do this by working with individuals to develop their skills for daily living, socialization, self-help and communication.

Employment Services: Our task in employment services is to access and place individuals with varying disabilities into jobs in the community. These services include vocational evaluations, community based work evaluations, pre-employment job seeking skills workshops, job placement, work adjustment, follow along supports, and long-term job coaching under community supported employment.

Mental Health Services: The Psycho-Social Rehabilitation program provides case management and psychoeducation to children, adolescents and adults diagnosed with chronic and persistent mental illness. This service can be provided in the home or in the community. Our Boise clinic offers counseling services and medication management.

Service Coordination: Service Coordinators help families meet their children’s therapeutic, medical, economic and educational needs. Service Coordinators arrange for services and transportation, monitor your child’s progress towards goals and educate parents about options available in their community.

IBI Services: IBI (Intensive Behavioral Intervention) is a oneon-one intervention program for children who have self-injurious, aggressive and/or severe deficits in communication, leisure or play skills. This program assists the child in decreasing the behaviors that interfere with learning and increase those behaviors necessary for learning and communication.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Despite a challenging job market, Enable America expanded its outreach in 2010

Enable America is ending 2010 with more accomplishments than ever before in its history as an organization devoted to improving employment opportunities for people with disabilities. The nonprofit is looking ahead to even more success in the new year.
“As the nation’s unemployment rate remains high, we’ve seen even greater need to assist people with disabilities, including veterans and wounded warriors,” said Richard Salem, founder and CEO of Enable America. “Fortunately this year, we’ve been able to respond with our most widespread series of programs and services ever. Enable America is in the right place, at the right time, to help those who truly deserve a hand up.”
In 2010 Enable America assisted more people, while working with more partner organizations and social service providers, than in any previous year.
Among this year’s accomplishments:
* Launched VetConnect “Path to Employment” Program for Disabled Veterans that included “Job Seekers Workshops,” in which Human Relations professionals served as career coaches providing personalized job seeking assistance and expanded mentoring opportunities in the participants chosen job field.
* Expanded Disabled Veteran mentoring program for job seeking disabled veterans and wounded warriors. To see more, click here: http://www.enableamerica.org/video-2010-06-28-putting-disabled-veterans-back-to-work.html
* Provided assistance to partner corporations in filling job openings, assessing workplace readiness for potential and existing disabled employees, and setting up and maintaining a disability employer network group within the company.
* Secured the support and assistance of more than 100 social service providers in providing people with disability job seekers.
* Launched Disabled Veteran/Wounded Warrior golf tournaments, which connected disabled job seekers with companies interested in hiring veterans and wounded warriors.
* Started a voter access pilot program in Tampa, Florida to address issues affecting people with disabilities participating in the electoral process.
* Conducted second year of programming during Enable America’s “Disabled Veteran Employment Mentoring Month” in November.
* Hosted community to community breakfasts and lunches to assist businesses looking to diversify their workforce by hiring persons with disabilities and disabled veterans.
* Hosted newly appointed Assistant Secretary of Labor for the Office of Disability Employment Policy, Kathy Martinez, as the Keynote Speaker at Enable America’s annual meeting.
* Celebrated the 20th anniversary of the adoption of the Americans With Disabilities Act with an “Evening with Congressman Tony Cohelo."
* Honored as “Non-Profit Achiever of the Year,” from the Corporate Achievers Awards for Individuals with Disabilities.”
“We are not only proud of what we’ve accomplished, but also of the foundation we’ve laid for our progress in the days ahead,” said Enable America Executive Director Steve LaBour. “There is no reason 2011 will not be an even bigger year as we grow our programs, assisting more people in need of our services.
Enable America is now gearing up for next year, allocating its resources and planning programs that will ensure it assists as many people with disabilities, disabled veterans, and wounded warriors as its budget allows. Those who want to contribute to the program’s outreach are encouraged to log on to EnableAmerica.org for information on how to make a tax deductible contribution.
“We could not have accomplished all that we did without the support of individuals, social service organizations, and our corporate sponsors,” LaBour said. “That continued support is critical as we build for the future.”
About Enable America: Enable America was established in 2002 by attorney Richard Salem as a non-profit organization dedicated to helping people with disabilities find employment and live independently. The organization’s Community Connections, Business Connections, and VetConnect programs unite members of the disability community and business community to raise awareness and increase employment opportunities for the 54 million Americans with disabilities, including our nation’s wounded warriors. More information can be found on the organization’s web site, EnableAmerica.org


Read more: http://www.disabled-world.com/news/america/43245.php#ixzz1CvONiEH9

Americans with Disabilities Act Documentary Trailer

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Justice Department Signs Agreement with Fairfax County, Virginia, to Ensure Civic Access for People with Disabilities

WASHINGTON - The Justice Department today announced an agreement with Fairfax County, Va., to improve access to all aspects of civic life for persons with disabilities. The agreement was reached under Project Civic Access (PCA), the department’s wide-ranging initiative to ensure that cities, towns and counties throughout the country comply with the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA).

“Access to public programs and facilities is a civil right, and individuals with disabilities must have the opportunity to participate in local government programs, services and activities on an equal basis with their neighbors,” said Thomas E. Perez, Assistant Attorney General of the Civil Rights Division. “Fairfax County has made significant progress towards achieving full ADA compliance, and this agreement sets out a realistic plan for the county to get there. I commend the county officials for making this commitment to its residents and visitors with disabilities, and for working with us to attain equal access to all of its programs, activities and services.”

As part of the PCA initiative, Justice Department investigators, attorneys and architects survey state and local government facilities, services and programs in communities across the country to identify the modifications needed for compliance with ADA requirements. The agreements are tailored to address the steps each community must take to improve access. This agreement is the 186th under the PCA initiative.

Under the agreement announced today, Fairfax County will take important steps to improve access for individuals with disabilities, such as:

* Making physical modifications to facilities surveyed by the department so that parking, routes into the buildings, entrances, service areas and counters, restrooms, public telephones and drinking fountains are accessible to people with disabilities;
* Providing access to county programs;
* Surveying other facilities and programs and making modifications wherever necessary to achieve full compliance with ADA requirements;
* Administering a grievance procedure for resolving complaints of violations of Title II of the ADA;
* Ensuring that any county programs for victims of domestic violence and abuse are accessible to people with disabilities;
* Providing accessible polling places;
* Providing effective communication;
* Posting, publishing and distributing a notice to inform members of the public of the provisions of Title II and their applicability to the county’s programs, services and activities;
* Undertaking the required planning and modifications to ensure equal, integrated access to emergency management for individuals with disabilities, including emergency preparedness, notification, evacuation, sheltering, response, clean up and recovery;
* Ensuring that 9-1-1 emergency service calls placed by persons with disabilities who use text telephones (TTYs) are answered as quickly as other calls, that such calls are monitored for timing and accuracy, and that employees are trained and practiced in using a TTY to make and receive calls;
* Ensuring that the county’s employment policies comply with the regulations of the U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission implementing Title I of the ADA;
* Ensuring that the county’s official website and other web-based services are accessible to people with disabilities;
* Amending the county’s police policies and procedures for law enforcement; and
* Implementing a comprehensive plan to improve the accessibility of the county’s sidewalks and pedestrian crossings by installing accessible curb ramps throughout Fairfax County.

Fairfax County was formed in 1742. The county consists of 395 square miles of land and 12 square miles of water. It is the most populous county in Virginia, with more than 1 million residents, comprising more than 13 percent of the total population of the state. According to U.S. Census data, more than 100,000 Fairfax County residents have a disability.

Today’s agreement was reached under Title II of the ADA, which prohibits discrimination against individuals with disabilities by state and local governments. The department will actively monitor the county’s compliance with the agreement, which will remain in effect for 7½ years. The department will actively monitor compliance with the agreement until all required actions have been completed.

People interested in finding out more about the ADA, today’s agreement with Fairfax County, the PCA initiative, or the ADA Best Practices Tool Kit for State and Local Governments can access the ADA Web page at www.ada.govhttp://www.justice.gov/opa/pr/2010/April/www.ada.gov> or call the toll-free ADA Information Line at (800) 514-0301 or (800) 514-0383 (TTY).

Dad’s New Love: How It Turned Out

By ANNE UNDERWOOD
Dad called it “part of the adventure of life.” In March 2009, at the age of 87, he moved out of his retirement community in Baltimore, bundled himself into his Prius and drove down to Griffin, Ga., where he’d rented an apartment. There was a woman involved, of course — a lovely woman named Gloria, whom he’d met on eHarmony.com.


Getty Images
Ever the practical daughter, I reacted at first with horror. Instead of having a support staff to help him, he would have to do his own cooking, cleaning and shopping — major tasks at any age, and all the more so for Dad, who was suffering from heart failure. I wondered who would care for him when he inevitably declined, and I doubted he could really afford this move. Dad brushed off all my warnings, insisting that he would be fine.

When I first wrote about his impending move in this blog, some readers were concerned, as I was, about the potential pitfalls. Others expressed outright admiration. “I hope I am as courageous, wise and unafraid” at his age, said one reader. “Bravo!” said another.

But the wisdom of this move was open to speculation at the time. A year later, I know how it all turned out.

Dad loved his adopted home, and, with Gloria’s help, he created a beautiful and tranquil living space in an apartment near hers. Gloria held a grand “Welcome to Georgia” party for him. And Dad quickly endeared himself to his neighbors and shopkeepers around town, who were drawn to his soft-spoken courtesy and deep kindness.

But his journal, as I later learned, betrayed a deeper understanding of his problems than he ever would admit to me — or to Gloria, for that matter. His stamina was rapidly flagging. Even before setting out for Georgia, he wrote, “Truly I don’t have the energy for this move. Need for money and (long-term) care impending.” In fact, he teetered when he walked, and every few steps he had to stop and rest. From mid-October on, he was, as he put it, “deflating.”


His finances were no healthier. As soon as he arrived, he began spending money fitting out his new apartment, framing pictures, buying new furniture and helping Gloria with her own household expenses — but he skimped on blood-sugar test strips for his borderline diabetes. I was appalled when he said he wasn’t going to buy a hearing aid until he could pay off the installments on his furniture. I sent a check, which he used to pay other debts.

Nor did his romance fulfill his deepest desires. Not content with mere friendship, Dad was searching for the ideal union of body and soul that had escaped him in his two marriages. He embraced this final quest with passion and urgency. But it was a romantic quest no woman could realistically have fulfilled. Anyone else his age would have been thrilled to have found such a deep and caring friendship so late in life. Not Dad. “The dream died,” he finally told me, admitting to a deep depression.

Perhaps with more time and better health, he could have made it work. But by this point, he was failing — “so tired, I . . .” read his incomplete journal entry on Nov. 11.

The next day he entered the hospital.

I flew down to Georgia. For hours every day, I read to him —everything from articles in Newsweek and The Nation to Greg Mortenson’s new book, “From Stones Into Schools” and “Winnie the Pooh” (which Dad had read to me as a child). I brought a portable CD player to the hospital and played his favorite recordings for him. I spoon-fed him meals and just watched him rest. Dad never gave up, even on the worst days. He always expressed eagerness to move on to “the next stage” — by which, when questioned, he said he meant rehab and then home. He talked often about what his life would be like when he got back to his apartment.

It was not to be.

Dad died on Dec. 21. In his cardiologist’s assessment, the move had probably shortened his life. But was it wrong for Dad to have moved to Georgia? I cannot make that statement. One afternoon while I sat vigil, he clearly said Gloria’s name in his sleep. And on his deathbed, his final words — mouthed despite a respirator tube down his throat — were addressed to her: “I love you.”

For an hour after Dad’s heart monitor flat-lined, Gloria and I sat with his body. We read him poems, talked to him and recited psalms, in case some last pulses of electricity remained in that amazing mind of his. We continued talking to him, even when the nurse came in to unhook the IV’s, pull out the respirator and shut off the machines. The funeral home director arrived.

As we followed the stretcher out into the bracing night air, I couldn’t help being proud of Dad and the courageous life he had lived. And just in case, as Dad firmly believed, there should be some sort of afterlife, I silently wished him farewell on his journey. This, too, I thought, is “part of the adventure of life.”